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 10月 2日 2036年

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blackice_pixie
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Join date : 2010-08-02

PostSubject: 10月 2日 2036年   Sat Oct 01, 2011 5:31 pm

I sometimes wonder what day it is lately. I have zero sense of time. Time stopped for me the moment Serenity was taken away again. Our soul mate link has not been fixed, but even without felling her near.. I feel empty inside. Living everyday with a smile is something I must try to do for her. She tries so hard not to worry me.. to be strong. In truth, she is the strong one in this relationship. I have hardly had a need to be strong.. I was protected from my father's antics by Christopher, I was protected in the deep inner circles of the gang, and I have the shield of magic, immortality and angelic might to keep me alive and safe.. but.. there is no shield to stop the incoming ebb of fear, anger and panic at the loss of the greatest love of my life.

No one can say "it will get better" or "hang in there". I have had enough of those words. I am a burden to her.. trying to help nearly got me killed and she did not want me to see her so broken down. I want to hold her.. to protect her in my arms.. even if I am no knight, I am completely hers and will do anything and everything to save her and help her heal.

It is just so hard.. and adding Roslyn into the mix.. it almost seems laughable. It is such a sad story for the two of us. Me with a love lost.. only to cause the same pain to Roslyn when Serenity is found and brought home, when our connection is reestablished. I do like Roslyn.. and feelings of love are there.. but I do not know how real or deep they run. She is a charming girl who puts me at ease.. though I feel like a fucking horrid person for sleeping with her.. and using her for my own comfort before I leave her for months on end yet again. I don't want to do it.. I want to cherish her and treat her right.. but.. there is no one else besides Serenity.

Now that we have had sex, however.. I feel even more pulled to her. It is making me confused and angry. It is not fair for either of us to feel this way. I want her to have the same amazing love that I share with Serenity with a man who can return it in full. Not me, who only offers love when it is convenient.. or who holds it back due to guilt.


Serenity told me she understood, that she is ok with Roslyn and I.. but.. I can't be ok with it. I will not try to stop it by force.. but I do not know how much I can let myself indulge in the feelings I have for her. Beautiful Roslyn.. I only wish I could truly be a better man for you.

For now I will take each day as it comes. I will smile, I will continue living for Serenity, and I will hold Rolyn in my arms and express the feeligns I have with her. When trhe day comes that Serenity returns.. I will decide on my next step then.
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vvandel
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Join date : 2010-09-28

PostSubject: Re: 10月 2日 2036年   Sun Oct 02, 2011 5:14 pm

Poor Salem. Its a nice change up to have the girl be stronger than the guy. I really want to talk!! Gah hopefully we can talk sometime soon. ya we need to do more with this and then go back to the chinese... and we so can make dominic not like it!!!!
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blackice_pixie
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PostSubject: Re: 10月 2日 2036年   Mon Oct 03, 2011 1:43 am

I know! But I think mind blowing sex is more entertaining than RP Wink


What is funny is Dominic and Salem actually got along.. but I can see after this that Dominic has an issue with him for some reason. So much good stuff to work on!
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vvandel
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PostSubject: Re: 10月 2日 2036年   Mon Oct 03, 2011 10:17 am

yes as great as RP is, it can y compete so well.... ues there is definitely lots to work on. Oh so I saw the first episode of the secret circle. You should check it out
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