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 Prayers

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vvandel
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Join date : 2010-09-28

PostSubject: Prayers    Mon Apr 18, 2016 9:59 am

4/6/16 (the night before going to china)

Seeing Dominic again brings forth all the same bittersweet memories that always seem to be intertwined between us. I have missed him. He is so much a part of my life and yet, I am the only person who cannot give comfort to him. I am trapped in the paradox of being the only one who could ease his pain, but being the one person who can do nothing for him.

Dominic raised me. Mom and Dad were around, but it was always Dominic I ran to and Dominic who brushed away my tears. Is that why things are this way? Was my child’s need and dependence on him the origin of it all?

There is a special type of pain knowing the agony I bring him, that I cause so much hurt to someone I love. The queen inside of me wants to reach out and sooth him, to keep the men who belong to me safe… but that only creates further conflict in the paradox. I need to take this pain though, because it is the only hope for Dominic being able to live some sort of a life. I have Jakub, and he will have to be enough in my life.

Cassandra says I must be brave in the trials to come and that it is up to Dominic if he breaks or not. I can’t bare to see him suffer through shattering again, I will do all I can to help him and prevent it. There are layers to what Cassandra said, but I fear looking too deep. I fear what I will find tomorrow and learning what kind of bravery I will need. Darkness protect us and keep us safe, and keep Dominic whole most of all.
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blackice_pixie
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PostSubject: Re: Prayers    Fri Apr 22, 2016 12:25 am

She really is in such a horrible place to balance between wanting to be there for him and not being able to Sad
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vvandel
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PostSubject: Re: Prayers    Fri Apr 22, 2016 7:50 am

Yep it's her biggest burden I think with him. And she knows that she can't see him often because it hurts him. Still it's hard on her
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